Pisces New Moon

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On February 18th, the Sun moves into the zodiac sign of Pisces, and the very next night it meets the Moon. That means it is time to set New Moon intentions.

Pisces is the 12th and final zodiac sign. It is here and now when we need to do some cleaning up and clearing out. Also, slowing down; it is the final month of winter after all. We are preparing ourselves for next month when the Sun transits into Aries, when spring begins, and a 12-month trip around the zodiac commences.

It’s like you are clearing out your internal closets and cupboards. Deciding what you really need, and want, and tossing the rest. It is an energetic deep clean.

For most of us, it’s the tossing out that can really trip us up...

I love Pisces. It is that energy within us that wants to soften, to surrender. It is here to help us loosen our grip on Life. To relinquish a little bit of control so that we might be surprised by what is possible when we trust in Spirit’s leading. Where in life are you holding on, when perhaps it’s in the letting go that you are held?

Ultimately, Pisces wants us to trust in the Sacred, in Mystery, in this belief that we are Divinely supported and intimately interconnected. To rest in the realm of infinite possibilities.

When we are in the state of control or clinging onto something — it often means we are scared. We don’t believe there is anything waiting for us on the other side. Pisces is here to say, there is.

It’s in the letting go, that you will be Held.

In 2011, the planet Neptune moved into the sign of Pisces — the sign it rules. This means Neptune is at home in Pisces. This means its power is potent.

Neptune represents Divine Love, the kind of love that wants to dissolve boundaries between us and them, and expand our capacity for compassion.

Interestingly, it was in 2011 when I began “quietly quitting” the Church (to borrow my friend Michelle’s phrase). For a long time, Church served as a refuge for me, a safe place where I could ask all my questions about God, and the meaning of life. It also took me out of my mundane life, and allowed me to feel a part of something bigger than myself. For a long while, it gave me space to be myself. Until it didn’t…

There came a time when Church was less a sanctuary, and more a battlefield of beliefs and ideology. Where lines were drawn and walls between us and them were built. It’s not to say that battle wasn’t worth fighting. It is to say Spirit wanted me to learn to dismantle the walls within myself, and to help others to do the same. In time, I would discover this was my magic.

Sometimes letting go means leaving behind something good and beautiful — like that 18-year-old leaving home for the first time. Spirit says, “You are ready. There is something more waiting for you on the other side. Go, and let 'your magic unfold.’”

What within you wants to dissolve? What belief, conditioning, or coping mechanism wants to be dismantled? What’s waiting for you on the other side?

It was not easy leaving Church. For a very long time, there was a void in my heart. An untethering, like I was floating alone in the cosmos with nothing to ground me. Seeking but not finding. I called it spiritual homelessness.

There were more seasons than not when I felt abandoned by Spirit.

Trusting in ourselves, and in Life, is no easy task, especially if what we are leaving feels like a safety net in some way. Letting go comes with setbacks, heartbreak, cold feet, and disbelief. It’s why some things require “quietly quitting.” Be gentle with yourselves. Extend yourselves grace. Give yourselves time.

I think eventually the pain of leaving turns into the fear of becoming.

The Piscean energy is here to help. She is already within you. She is your safety net. For tonight’s New Moon, ask for her spiritual support. Ask for exactly what you need to let go, to leave, to grieve. Then trust in your magic to unfold.

P.S. Tips for an energetic deep clean: Epsom salt foot baths, walks in nature, hydrating often, eating more vegetables, sleeping in late, anytime spent in water, meditating, coloring, creating, journaling, are all ways to help reset your emotional wellbeing and create the space for the Piscean energy to work its magic.

When funk visits

I am emerging from what our family has now named "funk." It comes and goes every few months, and stays for about 3-4 days. It’s a familiar guest, though a hard one to live with. Naming it funk helps me to let my family know when she’s back for a visit, and so they can give me the space needed, and the comfort wanted, in order to sustain her.

Funk isn't depression though it feels like it. Intense every time, and every time an eternity—at least to the ego’s eye. First arrives irritability—a meanness in my voice, an edge to my tone. Then comes extreme fatigue. Followed by profound sadness. Then all the stories of "not enough" come rushing in to give meaning to the pain. But what if the pain has nothing to do with my enoughness and everything to do with my aliveness.

As my husband left for work, he said, "Welcome back." And I said, "the funk is part of me too—it's the price I pay for feeling Life so deeply." These words fell from my lips as if a gift from the angels, holy revelation that awakened me to a new relationship with funk. It's a broken, hurting world out there, and our bodies hold that enormous pain, but our mind buries it … for it's often too much or too busy to bear it. But sometime and somewhere, the pain will need to emerge ... because pain demands to be felt.

Is it possible for me to reframe these funks not as an affront to my worthiness but as an opportunity to witness? As a moment to stop the spinning world, and sit and grieve. To weep and ache for the mass shootings, caged children, pets passed, marriages broken, crises of faith ... for the litany of pain in our world that needs to be heard, known and loved. What if I didn't make these moments [entirely] about me, but about me being a vessel for funk to heal? It's not masochism, it's midwifery. Because pain too needs to give birth, needs to emerge from the dark, watery womb, because it too is Life.