"Open Heart" by @katja.perez, witchy illustrator. Follow on Instagram.
This morning my mind seemed agitated. Then my heart started racing. An ache was emerging.
One of my practices is to draw near to my pain. So, I place a hand on my heart and talk to her like I would any hurting friend. Sadness emerged. Then tears.
I'm curious, so l lean in closer. She seems worried about an unfulfilled life, about not expressing her full abundance. She longs for more…
I stay curious and open.
She is acutely afraid of being seen as ineffective, though I think that’s a euphemism for useless. It is that wound inside me that says, “Maybe who you are and what you do doesn’t matter. Maybe you don’t matter, Keller.”
My sovereign Self knows what the wound is saying is not true, though it certainly feels true. (That’s the difference between what’s real and what’s true—But I’ll save that wisdom for another time.)
I draw nearer to the pain.
I say to my racing heart: “I see you. I see you are afraid. I feel the pressure you are putting on yourself to prove your worth. You can let that go. There is something waiting for you on the other side of this pain. Let it go…”
Friends, we are building this week toward a full moon in the sign of Leo on Sunday February 5th. The energy leading up to it could feel potent. You may start to feel upset. Agitated. Frustrated. Melancholy. Pressure. Draw near to the pain.
Leo is the zodiac sign of self-expression. Its energy within wants us to unapologetically claim our authentic selves, and to express it with flare. Leo knows it is sovereign. This full moon is here to disrupt any patterns or beliefs that block us from that truth.
Is there a pain emerging in you this week telling you that somehow you are not worthy? Draw near to the pain.
The sign of Leo is also about saying yes to our heart’s burning desire. Sometimes though, our desires are hard to find — they’re buried just beneath the wound. A full moon is here to illuminate. What’s on the other side of your pain or fear? What’s your heart’s burning desire?
I draw near to my heart again. Her pounding has steadied, her fear has loosened. She's ready to hear what comes next: “I see you. You are big, beautiful, brave, and brilliant. You hold a deep desire to connect authentically with other hearts. It's what I love most about you. This is the truth of who you are.”
May the days ahead draw you close to the truth of your belovedness and its burning desire.